Archive for March, 2010


Posted in Impossibly Cute, Random | 20 Comments »

Ivy: Who wrote the Nutcracker?

Me: You tell me.

Ivy: No, you tell me!

Me: I will give you a hint. Tchai…

Ivy: Tchai-Nasty!

Why Stop At Just One Blog?

Posted in Well This Is New! | 15 Comments »

Actually, I really don’t want to have a million blogs out there, but I felt inspired to start a new one.

Even though anyone reading this blog already knows about that one, I do want to keep them separate. This one is private – for family and personal stuff. That one is more for public entertainment. I do plan on there being some crossover, but for the most part I am hoping not to get too repetitive between the two. I think I am going to repost some of the funnier things from this blog, but rest assured its not always going to be like that. I just want to make sure the world benefits from my irresistible wit as fully as possible. You’re welcome.

I also feel like having a public blog will be a good exercise for my brain, and kind of makes me feels slightly more legitimate as a writer. I cannot promise it will take me anywhere other than maybe entertain one or two people for a short time. For all I know it will fizzle and die an ignominious death, having been read by almost no one. But I hope you will all follow along while its around. That means signing up as a “Follower” on your Google reader so others can see someone out there actually reads it too, and definitely commenting at every opportunity. You guys are always so supportive, and these things in particular will really help me.

Welcome to Las Vegas Mama.

This Magical Fish Is A Dud

Posted in Home Life, Sad Things | 12 Comments »

We were playing “Fishy”, and Ivy caught me. She likes to pretend to catch a fish (usually its me or Violet), cut it, put it in the oven, take it out when it’s done, eat it, and then put what’s left in the trash. Its funny because I never cook fish so I don’t even know where she gets it.

Today when she caught me I told her I was a magic fish and that I would grant her three wishes if she would let me go. She said, “Ok!” She “threw” me back and smiling, said “My wish is….that you can make Marcela come to visit us!”

I could not even answer her, it was so unexpected and piercingly sad that I didn’t even know what to say. I just stared at her until she went on brightly, “You can do that for me?”

“Wish for something else, Ivy,” I finally said. I guess I am just not a very good magical fish.

Dredging Up The Past

Posted in Random | 25 Comments »

I just went on my mySpace account for the first time in like a year, and found out that I used to blog there! I cannot believe how little I recall about that! I actually crack myself up, so I am re-posting one of my blog entries here:


Date: September 5, 2007 – Wednesday

Current mood:  morose

Well, although its an odd topic to blog about, today I am going to talk about my feet. My poor, beleaguered peds. My feet have been hurting for months now and I finally went to the podiatrist.

It weirds me out to go to a podiatrist. I wonder why a doctor would choose podiatry…who wants to look at people’s crusty feet all day long? AND, why go to med school only to forgo neurosurgery? Wouldn’t you want to choose a less (forgive the pun) pedestrian area of medicine? Anyway, its creepy.

Nonetheless not so creepy that I would not go to one to get some answers to this pain.

The answer is plantar fasciitus. It sounds like something you might try to grow in your backyard next to the azaleas, but actually it just means you don’t have enough arch support. So now I cannot go barefoot anymore. Its a crying shame, because my square little flinstone feet could easily move my car all the way to LA and back.

Besides, barefoot is beautiful. I am, after all, a homemaker. I cook barefoot with a baby on my hip so I can be the pinnacle of womanhood. Now I have to wear shoes???

I can never take them off, all day long. And I can’t even wear like flip flop shoes. I have to wear REAL shoes!! I don’t know if you understand the gravity of the situation. Its August in Las Vegas, need I say more??

The imprisonment of my peds is terribly vexing, as is all Ped Abuse, so we are going to protest, and I am circulating a petition to free them.

Also, while I am at it – Free the Placenta! (that is an actual case here in Vegas, and the placenta won).

Oh yes, and our protest chant is going to be:

“Bi-pedal pain has got to go! hey hey! ho ho!”

~~~~Si se puede!!!!~~~~

Performance Art, by Ivy

Posted in Home Life, Impossibly Cute, Random | 1 Comment »
Titled, "How to Eat a Blueberry"

Titled, "How to Eat a Blueberry"